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I’ve always been a shy person. The kind of person who’d rather stay home and read a book as opposed to going out to a party or large gathering. I’m not good at talking to people. And if anybody’s going to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, it’s going to be me.
But lately, with the help of my therapist, I’ve been trying to step out of my comfort zone. I know that if I want to live a full and happy life, I need to be more outgoing. And that sure would make my wife happier, too. She’s a social person, and my shyness is inhibiting her happiness. So I’ve been forcing myself to do things that I’m afraid of.
I started off by doing more things with my wife. We initiated date night. Every Saturday night we do something different. We might go out to dinner, a movie, or a concert, and sometimes we just go shopping. Then we started going out with some of my wife’s friends, which meant I had to talk. And boy was I uncomfortable in the beginning, but then I got used to it. And I actually started to enjoy those nights out. We had dinner parties, and barbecues, and sometimes a group of us went to the amusement park. I even went on a roller-coaster ride with my wife- the first one ever. It was exhilarating.
And then I had an opportunity to do some public speaking through my job. I was terrified at the mere thought of it. But I was being considered for a promotion, and if I wanted the job, I needed to get up on stage and talk to a group of salespeople. It came with a huge salary increase, and with a new house, I was in no position to say no.
Every day I practiced in front of the mirror, then my wife and children, and then my new friends. They were so helpful with their comments and suggestions, and their overall support. I made some mistakes during the presentation, but I did okay. And I got the promotion.
Since standing up in front of large groups of people and giving presentations was part of my new job, I went to a local Toastmasters club and worked hard at overcoming my fears and social awkwardness.
Going to parties and events is a lot easier for me now, and my wife and I have a lot more friends. I still like my quiet time and being alone, but I like making my wife happy even more.
Stepping out of my comfort zone has been challenging, but I’ve learned new things about myself. Even at my age, I’m capable of growing and becoming a better person and husband. I feel more confident and am far more outgoing.
I still have a long way to go, but I’m proud of myself for taking those initial steps. I’m determined to keep going and do more of the things that I thought were only pipe dreams because I was too afraid to do them.
One of the things I lecture about is Stepping Out of Your Comfort Zone.
Here are some things you can try:
- Begin with something small. Don’t attempt too much in the beginning. Take it slow, and don’t be so hard on yourself if you experience a setback. Keep moving forward.
- Aim for achievable goals rather than expecting drastic change overnight. Rejoice in your successes as you go along.
- Surround yourself with a support network. Locate individuals who will motivate you and help you stay driven.
- Don’t be afraid to fail. Everyone falters sometimes. It is how we learn and grow.
- And never forget why you are doing what you’re doing – keep your ultimate goal in mind.
Doing something new can be scary, but it’s a wonderful opportunity to learn more about yourself and to challenge yourself. So don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith. You just might be surprised at what you’re capable of.
by Alfred Inglemeyer
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